So weird, I thought I had made a mini blog about how chaotic things had been for me lately, but that I would be back with a full update soon. Ooh well. Here’s the big full update!

Firstly, my biggest piece of good news, I GOT MY NEW CAR! It’s a 2014 maroon Honda Civic and I absolutely love it. It has all the features I wanted and is well within my budget. I had originally been eyeing a Hyundai Elantra or a Mazda 3, but in a fit of sleeplessness I cruised over to a local Honda dealership’s website to see what they had in stock and now it’s mine! I don’t understand why people refer to cars as girls, but I do want to name mine. I’m thinking Adam or Levine or actually Jane since the color listed on the car’s history and details is maroon and I was a big Maroon 5 fan in high school. Jane comes from their first album, titles Songs About Jane. Why yes, I’ve decided just now, my car is Jane.

I got to see most of my core group of friends two weeks ago in Vegas, for my friend Remy’s 30th birthday. I road tripped by myself in the new ride, partly to break her in (ahh I just gendered my car!) and partly due to a MAJOR falling out with my friend Amy. I think I might make a separate blog about that. Back to Vegas, after having been there multiple times, Vegas quickly loses it’s appeal. I don’t gamble and I’m not the big party all night and dance in the club girl like I used to be in my prime. It was mostly good to see my friends, since I haven’t been home to San Francisco since my birthday in September.

The next biggest positive…well at least not entirely negative thing, that’s mostly an internal thing is that I’ve decided that once this current school year is up, I am leaving my Tuesday/Thursday nanny family whom I’ve been with for over two years now. I started off full-time with them, when the kids were younger, but now the eldest is almost at the end of kindergarten and the younger is signed up for full-time preschool starting in July. The schools where that family live operate on a year round schedule. They signed the younger up for full-time since they knew I had applied to San Diego State and were unsure of what my availability would be like once Fall semester started. I haven’t told them that 1. I was waitlisted and 2. they’ve been on vacay and I want to tell them in person. It was an extremely difficult and emotional decision to make and one that I still hesitate to finalize. I love those two kids, I’m so attached to them, BUT I am only with them ten hours a week. I have car payments to make and other bills to pay.

I am terrified. Ending a job and job hunting is so scary. I’ve been prowling craigslist and applying to e-v-e-r-ythiiiiing. Host and busser positions since I can’t be a server since I have no experience, admin and receptionist positions at spas and salons since I used to be a massage therapist. I sent out a bunch of resumes for childcare too the other night. Yes, I love kids. Yes, I am dedicating my entire professional career to them. I want to challenge myself. I want to use this fear I have of leaving my long time nanny family and have it push me beyond being afraid. Eww, I sounded like such a motivational speaker just now. I see them Thursday and ahh the anxiety consuming me!

On the job search, I had an interview yesterday! My friend Sauce (her preferred name, no idea what her “real” name is) is a manager at a fluff and fold laundry mat and they’re hiring. My next task is to schedule a secondary interview with the actual owner which will be tricky since he is only available on Mondays and Fridays in the morning which is a problem since I’m at work! I have an interview on Thursday for a hostess position at this kinda yuppie/beachy restaurant in Del Mar. Which that description fits the entire city of Del Mar, yuppie and beachy. I SO SO SOO want the hostess job! I miss interacting with adults and being social. Plus the hostess gets tipped so that’s always nice. Although, I also wouldn’t mind working at the laundry mat. Sauce and her co-manager Heather were hilarious to interview with.

My newest mantra is: I’m not afraid to hustle.” I’m really doing my best to not let my fear back me into a corner of complacency.

And lastly, as I am now going to make two separate blogs concerning heavier, more draining things, MY BOYFRIEND GOT HIS LATEST REQUEST FOR ORDERS APPROVED!! Woo woo!! Which means that yaaaaas he’s staying in San Diego!! It could mean that he has to deploy back-to-back and be gone for possibly an entire year, but the important part is that he gets to come back here.

I just realized I should have done the happy blog second…

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