I got the email from San Diego State that I had been hoping, and awaiting anxiously, nay obsessively for the past few months…

I didn’t get in.

Over 83,000 applicants for only 8,200 or so available spots, blah blah blah. I’m still processing, my mind is still reeling and hasn’t fully accepted the information yet. I’ve only told my best friend Amy about it. I’m going to wait till my mom is here this weekend to tell her and only after we’ve bought my car. My boyfriend is underway till Friday and I’m still contemplating whether to tell him now or wait since the ship’s internet is garbage and he isn’t likely to receive what I send him.

I am devastated. I left behind everything in San Francisco, a wonderful career that I loved with good pay and excellent benefits, friends that loved and supported me, a fledgling burlesque second life, my family and most importantly an affordable, well maintained, rent controlled place to live. I left all that on this stupid whim and pipe dream that I had to live in this miserable excuse of a town, all to get into a school that everyone assured me that was foolproof to get into.

I’m at a loss for my next step.

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One thought on “Heart Break

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