As I mentioned in my first ever post, my boyfriend is getting deployed later this year. He’s in the Navy. I’ve heard other Navy wives/girlfriends/military significant others in general talk about this thing called OPSEC (don’t ask me, the military has an acronym for figuratively everything) so I suppose that’s about all the information about him that I can share. And obviously from my username, I live in San Diego and so does he, sorta, but we don’t live together.

If you’re not from San Diego or don’t know much about it aside from SeaWorld and being really close to Mexico, let me just say it is a HUGE military town. There are bases all over the county and a solid 80% of the people you meet here are involved in the military in some way. My best example, being from San Francisco is the military has the same hold on San Diego as the tech industry does the Bay Area. Moving on…

I never heard of the term “military significant other” or a MilSo till I moved here and consequently began dating men in the military. I know a lot of women pride themselves or relish being able to call themselves so, I see it on the Pink! “Navy Wife” zip up hoodies, on the license plate frames that say “Navy Wife” and the countless bumper stickers covering cars declaring veteran status and pride for the branch of the military one has served, on the many Facebook and Instagram support groups available to join online. And I’m not feelin it. No tea, no shade for the women that have been with their serviceman for years and decades and children and deployments, you the real MVP. I’ve been doing this for coming up on ten months, of which the last six have been exclusive and serious and his upcoming deployment has me feelin some type a way. 

A few months ago, maybe September/October-ish he confirmed for sure that his ship was getting deployed this year. November/December-ish the subject of his deployment comes up and he tells me that he understands if I meet someone else while he’s gone. I brought it up to him last night, that I was rather offended and borderline angry that he would say something like that to me. He again reassures me that he’s totally fine if I meet someone while he’s gone, that he doesn’t expect me to sit around for half a year alone. I’m quiet for a minute, avoiding eye contact before simply telling him, “No.”No, that I don’t appreciate him saying it again. No, that I have no desire or intent to do that to him or myself! Just no.

Aside from another guy in the Navy I went out with for a few months in 2015, I’ve never seriously dated anyone in the military and have NEVER done long distance. To say I have anxiety about our relationship after he leaves is an understatement. I joined an online forum for MilSos, though I haven’t logged on since I created my profile. To wrap this up, I call myself a reluctant MilSo because it’s not something I use to define who I am. I have a boyfriend who just happens to be in the military. I’m a person built of my own accomplishments and experiences that happened way before I met him.

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