All Work and No Play

The next two months are going to be busy, workwise. The restaurant is goig through a downturn currently. We had one hostess quit already and another one whose last week is this week. We lost a busser, one server and will lose a bartender soon. If anyone reading this is in the San Diego area and had restaurant experience, I might have some leads for you!

We’re also going to lose one hostess at the end of August when she goes back to college in Virginia and another one to NYU in mid-September. All this means is…work work work. The last two weeks I’ve been doing double duty and going straight from work with my nanny family to work at the restaurant. I don’t mind, yet, I can always use the extra hours. 

Today also happens to be opening day for the horse racetrack around the corner from the restaurant. I have no idea what that means other than tonight we’re going to be hella busy. 

No new and/or exciting news with the boyfriend. Got into a minor disagreement with him over the efficacy of The Dailey Method. Has anyone seen that meme that says something along the lines of: When you’re self-aware enough to know you’re overreacting, but can’t stop yourself?” That was me. 

Next weekend I will get to play. My friend Shirley (and her friends who I’m more really aquaintances with/rest of the bridal party) will be here for her bachelorette party!

I hope everyone’s been having a more interesting July than me. 

2 Months Down

Today is officially two months since my boyfriend deployed! I’ll be really cliche and say that time has both gone by so quickly and dragged on at the same time. Like I’m surprised, “Wow two months already!” And disappointed, “Just two months.” Since he left. Working two jobs definitely has helped pass the time.

My nanny kids are both taking swim “lessons”. I put lessons in quotation marks since the baby is 2 years old and it’s a parent&me class [in which I stand in as the parent] and more of a glorified splash session than learning to stay afloat or propel themselves in the water. It’s pretty adorable. And reminds me how much I love swimming and how bummed I am that I don’t have access to a pool! Ooh well.

In the two months that my boyfriend’s been deployed I’ve develop a deep aversion to seeing other couples being affectionate in public. I officially miss having sex, now. I’m not necessarily horny, it’s more I miss being touched and hugged and petted and kissed. Other than that and not having any control of how often we get to talk to each other, it’s not so bad. 

Tomorrow I’ll be on my way up to LA to meet up with one of my best friends, Jasmine for the Blondie/Garbage concert at the Hollywood Bowl! So excite! I’ll try to remember to take pictures. I’m on the table now to get my legs waxed, then off to a friend’s pool party and work this evening. 

Enjoy your weekends!

Hostess Rant

I started hostessing extremely recently, in mid-March. I was leaving my nanny family in Chula Vista and was starting my search for a new second job. I searched Care.com to find another potential family I could work with two days out of the week. I also looked on craigslist for restaurant/hospitality jobs since working the weekends would open up my potential to make more money and with my boyfriend deploying, working weekends wouldn’t be an issue. I randomly applied to the restaurant I work now and started training less than a week after I dropped off my application. 

I like the job, it’s fun and a welcome change of responsibility and scenery after being with children from infancy to five years old for the past five years. 97% of the time everything is going well, my co-workers (namely the servers, but also the bussers, bartenders and food runners) and I help each other out, I can and am left alone to seat guests often and the guests themselves are polite and don’t require anything from me other than a menu and to know where the bathroom is. 

Tonight I had one of those 3% exceptions. I will admit I was partly at fault. I was seating a walk in (meaning no reservation) two people, a couple and showed them to their table. They saw another table (this one right by the edge of our balcony and directly in front of their table) and asked to sit there instead. I said it would be fine and gave them their menus. I go back inside and my manager tells me he was saving that table for a reservation we had coming in soon for an anniversary. I go back out to the table I just sat and explain the situation, and before I can even finishing saying, “switch tables,” the “gentleman” cuts me off,

“We’re already sitting down. And we’re ready to order. They can just sit at that other table…” 

I didn’t hear the rest of what he had to say as I walked away, FUMING. He was such an entitled, arrogant dickbag that my manager saw how clearly upset I was and sat the next two parties when I came back and let me answer phones. A middle aged man, basically acting like a spoiled child, “Finders keepers!”.

Ooh my god it just pissed me off so bad. I’m aware I don’t have a particularly glamorous or prestigious job title and I am fine with that. But when I am obligated to be professional and polite to someone who clearly doesn’t believe I deserve to have that reciprocated is flat out insulting.

:le sigh: I’m better now.

Riding The High

I got to talk to my boyfriend for a continuous hour and a half yesterday!! Though by talk I mean Gchat messages since he was sneaking away to use the computer while he had watch. He’s off the “duct tape division” which he had been assigned to since before they deployed and back in radio which he claims will give him more time and access to the computer.

The first ten minutes of our conversation I tried not to get too excited since I never know how long we’ll have to talk, but it was the best feeling yesterday. I ended up getting called off from the restaurant which I just realized now worked out well since I would’ve had to have cut my conversation short with my boyfriend yesterday. I also realize how much of a thrill, a little micro surge of adrenaline I get from hearing my Google Hangouts notification go off with a message from him. 

It made my day ☺️. And I went to go watch Wonder Woman again in theatres. YES, it’s that good to go see twice. 

My friend Rachael had her birthday pool party on Saturday which a few hours into it turned into a topless pool party, 👙🍊🍊🍈🍈!! I bought a pool float for the occasion and now face the dilemma of how to blow it up for any subsesquent use. 

It felt good to socialize and to remind myself that I do have a life aside from working and exercising. My Groupon with The Dailey Method expires on July 1st and I bought a new two month unlimited Groupon for this fancy pants yoga studio by my house. My boyfriend says he notices a difference from my newfound “fitness plan”, mainly in my stomach and butt ☺️☺️. I don’t believe him since I don’t notice much of a difference at all, but I hear that’s common with most people when they start to work out, you see yourself everyday so it’s harder to notice the changes. 

I’m happy today and it feels good.

Dislike Deployment pt. 2

The reality and frustration of my boyfriend being gone has finally set in. What tipped it for me has been the lack and inconsistency of communication. Some weeks we get to text a few days consecutively and sort of catch up with each other. The majority of the time it’s been me texting him a funny meme or a random thought and him replying to me days later. There is no rapport or flow of conversation. I miss his voice. I miss his face. I miss dragging him with me to new restaurants I want to check out and he begrudingly agrees. 

I’ve started to follow a few other military girlfriend blogs on here that I’ll start reading their posts soon. I know that I’m not alone in trying to survive his deployment, but I’ve always been quite skilled at excluding myself. In my casual browsing here and on Instagram I already know that I have little in common with most other milsos. I’m from a big, liberal city and am not patriotic. I’m foreign born and a minority. My boyfriend and I met each other when we were both older than when it seems most military couples meet each other. My boyfriend isn’t patriotic himself and doesn’t make any efforts to publicize the fact that he’s in the Navy. He and I don’t live together, didn’t rush into our relationship nor have we made any plans for our future yet. 

I know that’s where part of my feeling of otherness comes from; the uncertainty of whether or not we’re going to have a future, the very tentative nature that our relationship has become. We’re still a relatively new couple and the military lifestyle is still completely foreign to me. As “just a girlfriend” I have no rights or benefits. No healthcare or access to the commissary or base privileges. If anything major goes wrong and happens to him, his emergency contacts are his parents. 

In seventeen days he’ll have been gone for two months. It feels like so much longer already.

Happy Loving Day!!

A little background story on me, that I don’t tell almost anyone. 

On this day, June 12th, 2012 I got married. I don’t want to go into detail, I did it to try and help the boyfriend I had at the time and it rapidly unraveled into the biggest among the few regrets I have. But, I had picked this date for a specific reason. At the time I was taking a psychology class and in my reading I found out that June 12th was the day that the ban on interracial marriage in America was finally over turned for all states. All thanks in part to the courageous couple of Richard and Mildred Loving. 

I have always dated interracially. I’m Filipino. I’ve had boyfriends and dated men who are white, Mexican, Salvadoran, and mixed with all sorts of other ethnicities. I know I’m lucky to have grown up in my diverse Bay Area bubble where interracial couples and mixed children were not judged or uncommon. Today is the 50th, the golden anniversary of when the Lovings won their court case against the state of Virginia. Thank you, Lovings, may you rest in peace with the legacy you’ve left behind. 

On a slightly related note, I’ve finally found the song that makes me instantly think of my boyfriend, “our” song I suppose, though I have yet to tell him so. It’s “Beyond The Sea” by Bobby Caldwell, though I much prefer the Kevin Spacey cover. A little cliche given the fact that he’s in the Navy, but exactly why I think it’s so fitting. One month into his deployment and now I miss him. Not terribly, mostly the physical comfort of him. Curling up in bed together on weekends, laying my leg on top of his when we read next to each other in bed, holding hands when we’re in the car.

They were in Singapore and had that cut short. I’ll wait till they leave where they are now before updating on him. I do wish he’d understand the concept of TIME ZONES though and realize he’s texting me usually in the inconvenient time from midnight to 5am. It was nice getting to talk to him for two days in a row though. Text only, his wifi wasn’t good enough for audio or video.

Here’s to Loving Day 💜💙 (my favorite color is purple, his is blue) 👩🏻‍🏫👮🏻(I used to be a preschool teacher and I do wear glasses, I know he’s not a police officer, or allowed to have a mustache, but it was the closest to his uniform in the emojis).

One Month in Four Days

I officially don’t like deployment. Not that I ever actually liked having my boyfriend thousands of miles, oceans, continents and time zones away, but now it’s official. Save for their brief stop in Hawaii, they’ve been out at sea this entire time so we’ve only been able to talk once a week in short five minute bursts that usually end with him dashing off to go back to work. 

They’ve pulled into port now so fingers crossed we get to video chat in the next few days because I miss his face. I miss a lot of things, but I’ll settle for getting to see him again. He has duty tomorrow/later today since he’s fifteen hours ahead of me right now and he’ll be getting up for work soon. 

Now I have to go inside to my Dailey Method class. I bought a Groupon for one month unlimited + bonus week and this is my second week attending class. I really like it so far! Challenging without being hard and I always leave feeling sore.

I hope all seven of you enjoy your Sundays or Mondays wherever you are!

Adrift

I’ve been feeling lost, restless lately. 

I’ve mentioned (at least I’m pretty sure) that I didn’t get into San Diego State for Fall semester. I still haven’t fully processed what this means. I’ve been repressing my true disappointment about it. I moved to San Diego, almost three years ago with the sole reason being to attend SDSU. Yes, I know I’m reapplying for Spring 2018, but this was not part of my plan. I’ve gotten so used to going to class in the evenings, doing reading and homework, writing papers and studying for tests and exams, group work and all sorts of other school related things that to now be without school for the next…eight months, I don’t know what to do. 

I’ve joked around before with other people that ask what I’ll do with all my newfound free time that I have no idea what to do, but it’s actually the truth. I’ve opened up my availability at the restaurant, but it’s no guarantee that they’ll schedule me. I know more people in San Diego now than when I first moved here, but no one that I consider a real friend that I feel comfortable enough to hang out regularly. 

At the end of tomorrow it’ll be three weeks sincr my boyfriend deployed. No word on where they are other than the middle of the ocean headed towards Asia. I kind of miss him. We’re not the couple that constantly texts through the day or sends cutesy memes and videos to each other. But something funny or stressful will happen at the restaurant or I’ll see something that reminds me of him that I want to talk to him about, but I can’t. He messaged me this past Thursday while I was working and I replied when I was off, but haven’t heard back yet. That’s proving to be the most difficult thing, the inconsistency of when we can actually communicate. I do miss sleeping next to him, though. 

I bought a Groupon for The Dailey Method. I’ve only been to one class so far, but I’m excited to see how it goes! I have a “fitness” and I do use that term loosely plan in mind, but I’ll make that a separate post.

One Week Post Deployment

I’m genuinely surprised that it’s been an entire week (well almost, I don’t consider the day over till I’m going to sleep) since my boyfriend’s deployment. Last Monday was rough. I didn’t go to see him off in the afternoon for Manning the Rails, but after checking his ship’s facebook page (such a great idea a friend of mine here in San Diego suggested to check on the ship’s overall status) and seeing all the families seeing their various sailors off, I regret not going. Ooh well. If I can make it through this deployment we have another one waiting for us next summer (grumbly noise).

The last few days have been hitting me hard. The mom of the first family that I ever nannied for has just come back from her deployment on the Makin Island today. That was the ship my boyfriend requested multiple times for orders since they wouldn’t deploy again for a while. It took eight/nine days for them to sail for Hawaii back to San Diego so I won’t get to talk (really hopefully video chat) with my boyfriend till tomorrow at the earliest before they set off forreals. I remember when the mom of my first nanny family left fordeployment in October, and as a removed third party I didn’t think much of it and was surprised she was already coming back home. 

I’m hoping the next 28 weeks passes as quickly as this past week did. Also, today is the last day for San Diego State to get back to me about admission for Fall semester and right now it’s looking like it’s not going to happen.

In case anyone was wanting a vague idea of what my boyfriend and I look like. This was Rodeo Beach in the Marin Headlands on the other side of the Golden Gate Bridge.

Deployment Eve

My boyfriend deploys tomorrow. 

If nothing changes and the US doesn’t initiate World War III he’ll be back by the end of the year. I’m dropping him off tomorrow morning at 6:30am. His ship doesn’t leave till later in the afternoon and there’s the Manning The Rails ceremony for when the ship actually does leave that I can technically attend…but nah. I’ve taken two weeks off work already to go to Missouri and back to San Francisco with him (future posts to follow about that whirlwind) and can’t/don’t want to take anymore time off work. My boyfriend also says that Manning the Rails is incredibly slow and boring and that there is the distinct possibility that he either won’t be able to leave the radio department (his department) or if he does, there’s no guarantee that I’d even be able to see where they position him from the dock.

I’ve been asked multiple times how I feel about him leaving, what I’ll do with myself while he’s gone and another similar inquiries. 

Short answer is: I don’t know. This is all brand new territory for me. I’ve never seriously dated anyone in the military nor done long distance before. I don’t know what to expect or how I’m going to feel. I know what I’m going to do: work work work, two jobs and make that money. The anxiety that I’ve had this whole time counting down to these last few hours is finally here and I’m…indifferent. It feels like he’s going on a long work trip, which I guess it kinda is. He keeps saying seven months to everyone and yes, cognitively I know seven months, that means December but…

I’m not overwhelming sad or upset or distraught about not being physically with him for the next seven months. I know that I’m going to miss him. I know that we’ll still be able to communicate with each other, however irregularly.

I feel like I’m waiting to feel some grandiose outpouring of emotions and I have nothing.